The case of the hidden identity

Now then, after all these years posting as Evo1 far and wide, I've been brought to task by none other than members of my own family who where of the opinion that I was hiding.

Now I don't hide but I do worry about the efficacy of some of the posters and prowlers through this particular piece of media. Most of my internet mates would attest to knowing my real name though I would have to say that being called Evo by people who knew me first as Evo1 is pretty cute, even if Evo1 is a pretty beligerant little devil.

Would you sign up to receive mountains of junk mail at best or some pretty nasty stuff at worst if you didn't have to. I did at first but thought better of it, there are some strange folk out there.

But all the same, I should have come clean to Phil who wasn't too impressed. Sorry matey.

Plenty to be thankful for

Spring started yesterday.

The yesterday before yesterday, my little lad had his ears fixed - Gromitts, I think they're called. It was a bit nerve racking seeing him put under anaesthetic but he is such a cheerfull soul that it wasn't as much of an ordeal as I thought it might have been. All is well now and he has even ventured more than five yards from the TV screen since. In fact, he has been running around like a child possessed for the last couple of days - there is no stopping him. I'm thankful for that.

The yesterday before the yesterday before yesterday, Mrs Evo took me around a house which she quite fancies us moving to. We need the space apparently and she who must be obeyed ( ;) ) has her heart set. Though we have been up for sale for a very long period indeed, there is a part exchange option on this one and I think we have almost agreed with the vendor. I suppose I am thankful for that - though moving house is never my favourite occuaption.

I'm sure something must have happened the yesterday before the yesterday before the yesterday before yesterday but it has slipped my mind.

Oh, I'm thankful to Daniel and his three mates too - awesome.

semi-cheerful Evo signing off.

I Apologise

It has been a week of apologies for me (though not for my rants below, I hold firm to those views comewhat May - which is actually only seven or eight weeks time anyway).

Last Sunday, down at the yoof group, due to a silly scaring contest I seem to have got into with one of the teens, said teen jumped on my back - yes, my bad back, and I instinctively ejected said teen as I thought, in a gentle manner. It was subsequently pointed out to me that said teen had actually been catapulted into a door with not inconsiderable pace. So I had to buy some chocs. (Just a box of milk chocs straight off the shelf with no complicated questions - just straight into a brown paper bag, no eye contact with cashier whatsoever ;))

Now last night, I handed them over with a sincere apology and a suggestion that we should call a truce on the scare contest - which was flatly turned down.

All well and good, she seemed very pleased with the chocs. But then, later on, during a game of Chinese Laundry, I made the foolhardy mistake of asking the three "gangs" to bring me a rugby ball. There only was one rugby ball. Pandamonium broke out. There was one of the biggest scrums you ever did see on the floor. Arms and Legs every which way you looked. This went on for around 15 mins.

Carpet burns, squashed limbs, kicked bits and pieces. And all of it my fault.

To cap all of this, I have just heard that one of them was actually rather ill on my nutty chocolates.

Oh well, having just realised that next year, Mrs Evo and I will have been together for twenty years, I should be pretty good at being in the wrong.

Continuing on from below...

Far be it from me never to be Victor Meldrew but here's a few more gripes and then I shall hush.

Keeping with food, I come to the latest virus which has pervaded restaraunteurs throughout the country - and beyond I shouldn't wonder. Think back to a byegone age. You sit down for your meal, the waiter takes your order - then serves your food and the next you see of him is when he quietly takes away your plate.

But now. Can you remember the last time this happened? Now, just after you get started, it's time for the "is everything all right" call. This makes me nervous. As a rule, I reply with, "Why, what have you done to it?" but they persist. However, there is one benefit to this - probably American pastime - I just love listening to Mrs Evo gripe about the veg not cooked properly or it being too spicy or the meat not being hot enough or something and then young garcon stepping forward with his question and she smiles sweetly and says, "Oh yes, everythings fine". That is always a pleasure.

Flowers - Why can you not just buy a bunch of flowers. (I realise that this might just refer to me, but I will persist). I have no idea what the different flowers are called. If I had learned the names for flowers, I'm sure that by now they would have been superceded by different - more flowery names anyway - just like the colours. I just want to buy a bunch of flowers - if I had an interest in what flowers where which, chances are, someone would be buying them for me, not the other way around. Normally I reply to the question with, "Like daisies and buttercups but a bit bigger? No, on second thoughts, would you decide."

Oh and fashion, don't get me started on fashion. Just don't. Except you might like to hear this story which made me smile. After a brief encounter with the young new boyfriend of one of my yoof, she told me later that she had worked out that it was me he had been talking to by asking just a couple of questions. Firstly, "Was he tall". I am by no means tall, but nevertheless he replied with a yes. Second - and the one which apparently nailed it for her - "Does he tuck his T-shirt into his trousers?" I mean, doesn't everyone?

I could go on. But I'm burning myself out. Is anyone with me?

How come I didn't see this TITLE box last time?

OK, so it's March - the month following my last entry, I'm going to let that fact go for fear of becoming repetitive. for fear of becoming repetitive. for fear... OK, serious thought time.

I've been encouraged to think a bit more deeply about life. It might help develop my social conscience and make me a more rounded individual but more importantly, it might just promote this blog from non descript to: almost non descript really. I am aiming low.

Manipulation.
That's a word I have been thinking about recently. TV, Radio, Billboards, Posters, Door to door salesmen. Everyone is trying to lead us down their garden paths and I am fed up of it!

Take colours for instance. Not that I would ever be interested in redecorating in Evo towers you understand (actually, there is a simple rule in our house, whoever notices the place needs a lick of paint, does it. It has worked well over the years) but if I was, I would be interested in buying paint of a particular colour. I don't have a favourite colour, but here's a few that spring to mind: orange, yellow, blue, red. But can you get your hands on these colours? I doubt it. The shop would seem more keen to hoodwink us into believing that these are colours: Moon shadow, Winter glow, Whisper of autumn.

Whisper of Autumn? Who said that? Did you say that? Was it you? Oh no Evo, that would have been the whisper of autumn you could hear.

Hm, methinks the sales guy is having a laugh at our expense. And what about these, Peach, Avocado, Apple. These are fruit I tell you, at least they were.

But maybe this brings us onto the issue of food and now this habit has really started to get me down.

What kind of curry do you like? I like chicken. The meat I like in my curry is chicken. These days, can you get your hands on chicken? You cannot. There is plenty of Corn fed at three O'clock in the afternoon, Californian Ridge, virgin - never been kissed, tenderised and sprinkled in the finest herbs of all kinds Chicken and I am fed up of it. This is not just chicken (say the highstreet name that you must know). WELL GO AND GET ME SOME JUST CHICKEN then, that's what I asked for.

There's more, I'm just a bit exhausted at the minute and I shall have to do some work.